Best thing I’ve done in recovery is stop waiting around for other people to understand what I’m capable of doing or to want to be a part of it. It’s on me to show people what I’m talking about.

Each step along the way has been equal parts terror and excitement. This goes for everything. Each word I write, each post, reel, interview, event, meeting, every little step along the way I continue to have to push myself out of my comfort zone.

“Just jump. It’s fine once you get in. Breathe. And jump.”

At the beginning, my mind would naturally hesitate to protect myself. I always had the worst case scenario playing out in my head. These insecurities would then be reinforced by unwarranted outside opinions.

I’m doing too much, I’m gonna burn myself out, I’m on the Pink Cloud, spreading myself too thin, I need to focus on myself, I can be more than “just” my recovery.

I began to comprehend that no one, including myself, knows what Sober Britt is capable of now.

So since I already became a pro at blocking out these same limiting beliefs coming from within my own mind, I quickly adapted to blocking out the naysayers. Not in a spiteful way, but more of like an “oh ok, they don’t get it yet, I gotta show them” kinda way.

I am now lightyears ahead of where I was at mentally 17 months ago, while somehow still being the same old Britt. It’s like sobriety took away some bad qualities, enhanced my good qualities, and then handed me over a bunch of badass bonus traits I didn’t ever think I’d ever possess.

It’s the most perfect balance I ever could have dreamed of. A true gift. My soul is full. I feel the ones I’ve lost inside of me, guiding me. I feel connected, and I see the true value in myself.

I am beyond blessed to have a support system who has held me up in my weak moments. Thank you to those along the way who have been deep breaths of fresh air when my soul needed it most. Instead of warnings of the potential hard times to come, you’ve taken a look at the bigger picture with me and helped to encourage my growth and passion. Your support and kind words help me through some lonely times, and I will forever be grateful.

My friends are dead. My family members are dead. I still have family and friends in active addiction. I haven’t seen my dad once since I’ve been sober cause he’s so deep in his addiction. His dad died from alcohol. His brother died of an OD. His neice (my cousin) died of suicide. I’m gonna save the trouble of listing off friends at this point because the point is proven. We all have people we love who are gone because of addiction and mental illness.

I am not going to stop fighting for those who can’t talk about it right now. I’m fighting for them now to make it so they CAN talk openly about their disease if they choose to. So they can get mental health or substance abuse treatment and go back into work with welcome arms and support without shame.

We are all human. We feel the same emotions. We must connect on that level. Not compare. Empathize. Connect.

Whether I’m doing it by myself or with a million other people. It doesn’t matter. I am not stopping. I know how far gone my mind was. I HATED myself 17 months ago. I wanted to be dead. So to feel this good now, how could I not want to ignite this flame in others?

If all of this is coming from just one little ADHD, psycho, bipolar, codependent, insecure alcoholic/ addict/ lost cause… imagine a world filled with people who have addressed their substance use and mental illnesses?

The cure to cancer could literally be overdosing right now.

So yea. I do feel a sense of urgency. It’s not “too much” or “too” anything.

I’m done watching people die in silence.

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